Sunday, April 12, 2009

Quotes 17 NOW WITH PICTURES!!!

With a stop light, green means 'go' and yellow means 'slow down'. With a banana, however, it is quite the opposite. Yellow means 'go', green means 'whoa, slow down', and red means 'where on earth did you get that banana?' -Mitch Hedberg

Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he'll buy a funny hat. Talk to a hungry man about fish, and you're a consultant. -Scott Adams

Assuming either the Left Wing or the Right Wing gained control of the country, it would probably fly around in circles. -Pat Paulsen

I have noticed that the people who are late are often so much jollier than the people who have to wait for them. -E. V. Lucas


A signature always reveals a man's character - and sometimes even his name. -Evan Esar

Painting: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather and exposing them to the critic. -Ambrose Bierce



The difference between a violin and a viola is that a viola burns longer. -Victor Borge


Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work. -Thomas A. Edison


Irrigation of the land with seawater desalinated by fusion power is ancient. It's called 'rain'. -Michael McClary


Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they? -George Carlin

6 comments:

Mr. Worm said...

BWAAAA, HAAAA, HAAA!

I like the signature one... My retired boss would send out emails to people telling them they had to sign their name legibly on their time sheets every once in a while :-)

I like the viola and the rain, too :-)

Mr. Worm said...

BTW, you need to post more consistantly so people will comment :-)

Mr. Worm said...

Well, that is, if you care :-)

Steven said...

FANCY!

Anonymous said...

Well?

Anonymous said...

WELL?!